dragonsack

The thoughts you have, (your inner dialogue) mainly consists of what you hear from people talking around you throughout your day. The conversations people havve that you surround yourself with get repeated in your head when you are thinking, but you just don't realize it. So if you surround yourself with positive people that say positive things, then your head will be filled with that. It's like putting a bunch of scripts together from the people around you, and put them together into one, which is your own internal script. This can be a reason why you can usually tell how a person is by looking at his friends.

You may have noticed it right before you go to sleep. You hear other peoples voices in your head that you've heard talking throughout the day. Your mind is still running for a while even when you stop thinking. Like if you spin a windmill, it will keep spinning for a while even after theres no more wind pushing it. Schizophrenic people say they have voices in their head, but we all actually have voices in our heads, just they are more aware or the voices are louder in theirs.

This is why I think affirmations would work. Affirmations are sentences you listen to that install positive beliefs about yourself. Like you hear someone saying "you are confident, caring, you love life, bla bla". If you were to fuel your mind with a positive voice, then I think it would make you a happier person.

Around age 5, I started noticing the first thoughts arising in my head. We get these thoughts because tv tells us that we need all these things to make us happy, and we learn this behaviour from everyone around us. We learn that if we have that toy, then we will feel good.

At one point in our lives we have a feeling things could be better. We want this previous content feeling back. This is how our mind is born. It's only purpose is to seeking out how to form a better future moment.

REALLY THINK about this...
If you really trace down the ROOT of EACH thought you have, they can be formulated into questions that are continually trying to FIGURE OUT how to be happy. How to be kids again.

Thinking about something someone said to us for example, and what we should´ve said back or will say back next time. The root of this thought is again how can I feel content, and eventually be a happy child again. What do I have to do to feel good?

ALL these years our minds are trying to solve this puzzle, on how to be content or happy. What is the answer?




The answer to every question in our head is Nothing. The machine trying to figure everything out shuts off and you can see, you're a kid again.


Socrates: "I'm the wisest man in the world for I know that I know nothing". He figured figured out the final question of life

I went way far down the rabit hole of spirituality, or whatever you want to call it. In the end I came up with the same conclusion that I usually do.

You can´t understand the politics of this world. So thinking about deeper shit in other words doesn´t get you anywhere further in life. God is a level higher than thought, so it doesn´t make sense trying to wrap your mind around these concepts. Real understanding and knowledge comes from experience, not from thinking and developing theories.

Fo sho. Whenever you feel INSPIRED by a piece of self help material
STOP and APPLY it to your life. Too often we feel a click
and go "Wow" and then keep listening/watching/reading for another
hour and our original insight is drowned in a flood of information.

STOP and APPLY.

The ego/mind absolutely despises change, especially when change is positive because the mind
is addicted to negativity itself, e.g., fear, doubt, drama, victimhood, guilt, depression, etc.

As you improve yourself by moving beyond the ego's addictions, every now and again the ego
will find clever ways to distract and even attack you. Just as vampires hate the light because it
dissolves them, so does the ego hate positive energy fields such as happiness, joy, and love
because those states dissolve the ego's negative programming.

One of its main tools is, as you stated, Doubt. It'll try to seduce you with sarcasm, cynicism,
skepticism, etc., precisely because joy, happiness, success, love, etc., are what the ego fears
most. It also fears the 'unknown', so your self-improvement is going to trigger that fear to come
up as well.

The way to handle negative thought patterns is to witness them as they arise, and to "do"
nothing about them. Simply watch those doubtful thoughts, and refrain from taking them
seriously or getting involved in trying to change them. Allow the ego to do what it does, and
don't resist any thoughts. By resisting them, you actually energize them and give them power
over you. it's like when we resist a woman's flaking out on us and try to change her, control
her, argue. We just end up aggravating the situation. But when she flakes and you just have
compassion for her fears, and do nothing about her flaking, she will often feel safe and open
up. Similarly, when the parent tries to lecture the child and control the child's thoughts, the kid
becomes defensive and shut down. We all hate to feel controlled by others. But as the parent
simply listens to the child and doesn't try to change the kid's viewpoints, almost like magic the
child then says, "What do you think I should do, Dad?"

It's helpful to think about the ego/mind as a child, and to treat it in the same way. Just listen
to its ramblings, doubts, fears, talkingness, etc., and refrain from getting involved in trying to
change anything. Just be the witness of the mind. As you master this state of non-doingness,
non-reactiveness, and non-resistance with even the most "sickly" negative thought patterns, the mind
begins to fall silent. To resist the mind's "stupidity" and trying to "change" or "train" it only
results in an inner war with the mind, which thereby energizes it and gives it power. But to
merely watch/observe/witness the mind and "do nothing" about it's annoying thoughts, the
mind becomes like the child who quickly gets bored because you're not giving it the fight
that it secretly wants, you're not giving it the kind of negative attention it desires. By just
watching it, it's as though it feels loved and becomes healed.

The problem with "positive thinking" and "law of attraction" is that most of the students
who become involved in these end up going to war with their mind's. They realize just
how negative the mind is, and so they resist the mind and try to force it to become positive.
It's not necessary to do this at all. Just watch/observe the mind, as though it were a TV.
Don't identify with the thoughts, they are merely part of the environment. The real "you"
is the witness. If thoughts were who you are, then you would have no awareness of them
at all. Something has to register thoughts, and that something is the field of consciousness,
or "the silent witness." The less you "do" about those negative thoughts, the more positive
they will automatically become, and once they become more positive, the next level is they
will start to go silent of its own.

When a man knows how to "handle" his own thoughts in this way, there are then no more
questions

Here's a big revelation I've had. It will make your life a lot easier. It's taken me 18 years to realize this, and I wish I'd known it earlier.




Think of anyone you don't get on well with, someone you really hate. Being it in the past, or in your class, basketball team, or work right now. Everyone has someone they haven't gotten along well with, or someone they've deeply hated for a long time. Someone you have quarrels with all the time and maybe even try to avoid.

Well you can keep dissing him, and let the hate linger on. You can avoid the person, and encounter someone later in your life just like him again.

Or you can solve it like this..



Now describe this persons personality in a few words, what makes them different to others. The first thing that comes to your mind when you think about them.

This description you have made is a part of yourself. It's a characteristic of you that you yourself don't like, and naturally the person you hate doesn't like it in themselves either, and they see it in you. You both share this negative quality, and you both can't deal with this reflection and end up hating eachother for it.

The next step is to realize this and accept it's part of you. The only way an alcoholic can stop drinking is to first accept he's an alcoholic.



Now you can conciously stop doing whatever it is you reflect in this person. Pay attention to yourself throughout the day and make the actions less. If you hate this part of yourself it means it's not real, and it's a useless quality that will get you nowhere.

The final step is to stop doing it completely. Now ACCEPT the person, and feel a love for him/her. Then just like that you guys will hit it off just fine.

There are a number of portals to stop thinking.

Being present .

living in the now.

Your body is the best way to becoming present. It is a gateway. Once you are present in the moment, your mind will cease, only occasionally trying to get your attention in many clever ways.

When you are living in the present moment, there are no problems, there is no fear, there is no more torment.

It is possible to live with no mind. The mind cannot exist without past or future, you will notice it taking into projected futures or reliving the past over and over.

The mind cannot control you if you manage to stay present.

The continual state of no mind is called enlightenment.

i lost my ego completely, i broke out of it. i was free and had reached enlightenment.
i am god but at the same time i'm nothing, just positive energy like everything else. i had full understanding of everything. everybody is mirrors of me, which was pretty terrifying to see on one hand. i have nothing to prove to anyone, people aren't stupid, if you try to prove something to someone its like lying to yourself, because they are just mirrors of you. i'm the creator of my world and i receive what i give out.
take in as much beauty as possible, and move away from negativity. the world is just positive energy, it's love. i saw backwards swastikas after i reached that state. and i saw shifnu with nine arms in the sky very vividly. i didn't know what they meant at the time.
i searched the definition of the backwards swastika, and its the symbol of vishnu, vishnu is the buddha with the nine arms. he's the highest god in buddhism and the creator of the universe. funny how they both mean the same thing.
after we left mikes house i was speachless after what had happened, i didn't know how i would deal with it after i stopped tripping, my whole reality was blown. the bacteria shit was just weird and unneccasary to see though.

this trip happened for a reason, it was good. i'm going to focus on beauty more, learn from people and art, and my ego died. this is way beyond rsd stuff and being in the moment. it was a big shift i went through and an eye opener to so many things.

The first matrix movie explains thouroughly what I went through. It's weird it's like whoever made it made the movie about me.

http://www.thematrix101.com/matrix/meaning.php

Here's a part of the movie, it gives an idea how it relates to my own experience.

I had a nightmare last night. That i got too high and was incapable of acting normally during my trip. I became a retard with zero brain cells in my dream and was stuck like that. In my dream I wanted to write down what was going on the whole time, but I couldn't because I was too retarded. I ended up trying to write with tipex, but spilled it all over my hands.

Dreams have a lot of significance, they relfect what goes on when you're awake I think. This dream reflects me not being able to control my own mind at times I think, maybe cause of weed, I don't really care though to be honest. I go deep into my thoughts, like everyone else does, thinking retarded shit, whilst knowing in the back of my head it's retarded shit. I'm not used to it.
If I remind myself who I am, I usually snap out of it. So whenever I catch myself in a low state, I just remind myself I'm fucking Duane! what is this thinking shit?!

I used to have a lot of dreams about my teeth falling out. I don't have them anymore though. This dream means you don't have control of a big part of your life going on right now. You feel helpless and can't do anything about it. After you remember a dream, think of the feeling you got from whatever was happening, that usually relates to something going on in your life at the time.


Now that I stay at home more often and go to school I have more time for myself. This is good but a big change that I'm still getting used to. I'm eating dorita chips with the dip again, with a doctor pepper in the other hand, and watching family guy, or the people getting jail sentences in foreign countries show. Other times I'm 'doing homework', and watching porn with my dick in the other hand. It's funny the excuses you make before you can do the homework.. First I'll clean my room, THEN I can do my homework with a clear head. First I'll write this blog, or check my facebook, then I'll do my homework. First I'll find some good music to listen to so i can do my homework in peace. etc. First I'll eat, cause of course I can't do homework on an empty stomache. I'm writing this write now while I should be doing my homework, peace.

Trying to be something you're not doesn't work. It's all about finding out who you are, and having the balls to run with it. You know who you are and that is enough, live in allignment with it.

RIght Action. You want to do something. Do it NOW. You want to do your homework or go to the gym, do it now. You need to go to the bathroom, do it now. You want to ask the teacher a question? Ask it as soon as it enters your head. You need to leave your friends to get the bus, go home right now. Lying is a waste of time, it's unproductive and keeps you stagnant. Right action speeds up the process of your life and will get you further. Right now it's at normal pace but I'm sure I can fastforward this.

My mood seems to be going up and down lately. I'm going through a transitional phase, a hard one, not the hardest I've had but I'm having difficulties sometimes. Being in my head is frustrating, having useless thoughts and frustration. I'm not getting used to this new lifestyle, slowly I will though. I'm too extreme for the people at my school. I was watching a documentary of Hitler today at school. Hitler had a hard life for a lot of the part, and he got thrown in jail because of his enemies. All the time he spent in jail was used writing a book called Mein Kampf. 3 Years focusing on what he hates everyday. Every thought he had in that prison cell must've been dedicated to the making of this book. His long ramblings about his ideals and his hate for Jews and other Foreigners. He got out and he was like a bomb storing up through the years and going off as soon as he got out. It might seem weird but I can relate to that, keeping it and building it up, then lashing out and taking the world by the balls.Years of being held back and finally breaking through your chains.

I've been thinking about becoming a lawyer when I'm older. My step-dad offered if I would like to take over his company after he retires. When I was young I was told I should be one, because I tend to dominate conversations and push them into my desired direction. If I do I have to work on my shit talking skills, I've heard being in an office of lawyers is like being with a bunch of kids, everyone is "burning" eachother constantly and a lot of assholes tend to be lawyers.

I wish life was all smoothsailing, but the ups and downs make it life. I need to read more books for guidance. Eckhartte Tolle - The Power of Now would help me. I thought about watching RSD videos again, I decided not to though, it doesn't help my growth. These teenage years feel like a lot of just wondering around trying to find a destination. Thank god to drugs. They're like tools to help you on your way if used correctly.

Recently, well since I got back from Japan. I figured out a lot of stuff about myself, I have more of an image of who I am when before I was lost. A few days ago I made a lifeline for myself in Line Graph form. From 3-17 years old I have the ups and downs of my life. If I think back my life has been going up on the graph constantly. It's very unstable, having extreme ups and extreme downs. I am very proud of myself for getting through some of those downs, I've endured a lot since a young age. I think it's because I'm becoming a man these coming years that I'm starting to look back where I came from, why I am how I am, and where I want to go. These years I'm laying out the plans for the rest of my life.